Question:
Dr. Ask! Dr. Ask! What do I do if I am pretty sure my dog is planning on killing me in my sleep so he can steal the treats?
— Obedient Owner
Answer:
Dear Obedient Owner,
Oh dear! Well, that sure is a massive problem, isn’t it? If I were in your shoes, I would lay down on the ground and bow to him a couple of times to show him that he is the alpha male of your house. If that does not work, give him all the treats and flee for your life!
Go save yourself,
Dr. Ask
(Disclaimer: Neither this question nor its answer was written in a serious manner. This advice should not be taken seriously. If you have any questions, reach out to ourbelmonthighpoint@gmail.com.)