By Joyce Gong :
Sick and tired of reading your three hundred page assigned reading book or that
endlessly long chapter for Biology? Follow these seven simple steps to pass your classes without cracking open a book or even reading a word!
1. Throw out all of your textbooks
If you’re not going to open them, why keep them? Toss them out! Take glee from imagining how the administrators and teachers will feel when they realize you threw out their $90 textbooks. After all, what did they expect? Textbooks don't spark joy. Your parents may have to foot a hefty bill, but that’s the cost of success!
2. Ask your friends for the homework answers
You've probably heard this hack before, but it's a classic for a reason! Asking your friends for the homework answers is the easiest and most logical way to finish your homework without doing any of the work yourself! Why waste your time studying the material? Make sure to change a few answers, though, so that your teachers don't catch on to your strategy.
3. Cycle your studying
Scientists have done extensive research on the value of "cycling" your studying. Most recommend studying in thirty minute chunks, broken up by five minute rest periods. But in this reporter's experience, switching up the lengths of your study and rest periods is actually more effective: study for five minutes and rest for thirty! Just think of all the extra TV you'll be able to watch and the games you'll have time to play!
4. Watch YouTube
Not YouTube like Khan Academy or Crash Course. Go straight for the hardcore "dog fail" videos. Watching pet videos will raise your spirits and get you ready to study with a happy mindset. And with your thirty minute cycles of breaks, you should have more than enough time to watch all the YouTube you want!
5. Sleep
Haven’t you heard? Sleep is the new black! Studies have shown that teenagers should get around eight hours of sleep every day. Let’s be honest, though: if you actually read your textbooks, you'll get about six hours of sleep at maximum. Don't worry – when you skip studying, you can stay in bed for up to twelve hours! Doesn’t that sound positively heavenly?
6. Read Right to Left
ekam lliw tI !egar eht lla si niarb ruoy gnignellahc :won yb draeh evah tsum uoY
?taht tnaw t'nseod ohW .sthguoht ruoy etalumits dna ,tneiciffe erom niarb ruoy
dna ,yltnereffid kniht uoy ekam lliw ti tub ,uoy rof redrah eb yam tfel ot thgir gnidaeR
?uoy llet I t'ndiD ?gnitseretni siht t’nsaw ,woN .noitamrofni eht brosba ylurt
7. You did it!
Wow, would you look at that? You did it! You learned how to study in seven simple steps. Now you can pass every class without ever having to read again.
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